I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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