Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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