so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
