Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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