Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
