i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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