I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
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