woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
