I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
