just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
