love makes seman taste better
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
