He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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