So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We don't watch enough power rangers
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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