i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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