Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
