You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
