It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
