I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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