i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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