Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
