I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
