You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
