I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
