i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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