Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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