Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
