proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
