I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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