So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
