You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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