but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
