at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Oh god it's open bar.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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