Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
