stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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