she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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