dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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