Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
