Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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