You just made me feel so damn special
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
