I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
