This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him