whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
