Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
