Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
