OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
