I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
