oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
