go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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