Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
