YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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