just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
