great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
