Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
