Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
