About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
