Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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