despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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