She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.