Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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