Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
