Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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