THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the night ended with taco bell and tears
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
