he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just gift wrapped bread.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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