bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
