is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
