Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was so not down for the gang bang
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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